Why do we so often resort to logic first in a negotiation, when it’s consistently proven to be so ineffective? Every used car salesman knows that features and benefits are just the excuses you give someone for buying a car — the real reason is usually something more visceral and emotional, but many of us are loath to admit that’s how we decide on a major purchase.
The sale is made by igniting the emotions, lighting the fire of status, or thrills, or whatever it is the perceptive salesman can glean from your responses and body language. Or maybe he knows that you trust him — he’s a friend, or was recommended by a friend, or looks like a genuine guy in his conservative suit…
It’s not that logic doesn’t have a place — it’s that logic usually belongs in last place when it comes to persuasion. It’s what you use to wrap the sale in a bow and hand it to your excitedly trembling customer, after they’ve already convinced themselves they have to have it. You give them the reasons that will stand up to the test of time and the scrutiny of their friends.
Aristotle knew this, when he talked about the art of persuasion in terms of Ethos, Pathos and Logos. Ethos in rhetoric is persuasion based on your reputation and character. Pathos, is persuasion based on appeals to emotion, while Logos is argument based on reason or logic. Stephen Covey (“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”, available on the Reading List) talks about the 5th Habit, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”, in the same terms. Choose carefully, but mostly, choose Logos last.
Don’t trip on your own rhetoric.
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